I dabble in things I can get away with


Arabella From Manila; (n.)

20,




A raccoon who wants to settle down at the beach. Someone who wants to have a beautiful mind with some pun in between. Writes and reads, Takes photographs with her children, Audrey, Shelby, Douglas, Andres, Flloyd, Smith, Skimpex and Coco. Figuring how it is to be a poet.

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moving soon

Afternoon rain and Louise Gluck. Something about the rain that asks you to listen. So today was rendered for some school work and org work, I suck at photoshop which reaffirms my traditionalist/purist aesthetics. Anyway the rain made me ponder how in a few seconds the city can be taken whole but be reminded that what you don’t see still exists. Something about the rain makes me tender. I then decided to write down lines of my current favorite piece “moonbeam” by louise gluck. “You are like me, whether or bot you admit it./Unsatisfied,meticulous. And your hunger is not for experience/ but for understanding, as though it could be had in the abstract.” Forever thankful for this well-travelled copy of gluck’s seven ages from my darling Sabrina! P.S. the marker is also yours!
My left foot aged a vein and this is bliss. Although I have been living 4 years away(save for weekends) from my parents for school this school year as I am extending for my thesis, will be the first time I am living on my own. Entirely alone in an empty room that I have started to fill up slowly. Of things that will make me believe I can sleep and wake up all on my own. I admit at times the silence can be daunting but I find happiness in the little things I discover. Like how talking to yourself mentally will be a habit that will increase since hearing your voice first thing in the morning might be too narcissistic or how cooking spaghetti noodles should be done in increments unlike the sauce because when it gets cold it hardens and then you’re doomed or maybe so because spaghetti should be made not perfectly but carefully because it can remind you of home and the people in it. I have a lot to discover about myself this year and I wish I’ll brave them well.
I would actually like to keep you for myself. If only I knew the way how to. I would drive my car to your place and tell you I love you, no more crying darling.
It’s Sunday. I’m living a new life.
My dear friend Sam texted me about 10 minutes ago: “I think you could use the Word Mamihlapinatapai in. One of your poems” I feel so strongly of the word. Spot on. Sam, your craziness paid off tonight.